Someone to listen

I am exhausted, rushed off my feet and generally hacked off with the world.  O did an accident in his bed at 1.30 am, so I was up changing both son and bedding, and then failed to get back to sleep until 4.30, and the alarm goes at 6, so I am really tired.  I don't do well on lack of sleep.  Then I had to bake cookies for the picnic at the zoo today.  Parenting/housewifery is a competitive sport, and if you don't bring something homemade to a picnic, you have failed.  Then I took Elsa to doggy daycare, went to the zoo with many children for 5 hours, picked Elsa up from doggy daycare, took her for a walk in the woods, ended up feeding the children KFC because I didn't have time to go home before O had his choir practice.  Dropped him off there, came home to drop the dog off, E did a spectacular accident in her knickers all over the kitchen floor, cleaned that up, didn't get the cup of tea I was desperate for, went to pick Oscar up from singing, and have just got back, and popped this kids with a chocolate bar in front of Frozen for bit whilst I gasp for breathe.

I tried to ring my husband (who  has parents even this evening so won't be until 9) and he was too busy to even listen to what I was saying to him.  Half hearted "hmmm"-ing was all I got, whilst he stuffed his face.  I rang my mum and listened to her complain about her hospital appointment, and then, when I was half way through a sentence I get cut off with "oh well, you better deal with the kids then.  Talk to you tomorrow".

So I get to spend the evening in silence, by myself because apparently the things in my life are of no concern to anybody, not even the two people who are supposed to care about me the most.  I expect the kids to walk all over me - they are kids, and that is what I am there for.  Is it too much to expect some genuine concern from the adults in my family?  Apparently so.

I am totally FED UP!!!

When I gave up my job for my kids I also gave up any hope friends or a life outside the home.  Maybe I should just get used to having my thoughts and feelings ignored by everyone.  Consider me beige wallpaper...ignored by all, but noticed when missing.

Rant over...for now!!!


Ps - And just as I was checking this post for errors, E did an enormous shit in her knickers, all over the sofa's, the cushions, her dress and her foot.  I feel ready to cry right about now!!!  And while I sob in the kitchen because this is just the cherry on the fucking cake of what has been a long, tiring and stressful day, when I tell my husband I can predict his response "that's my girl" he'll say whilst chuckling and then disappear onto his computer so he doesn't have to talk to me anymore.